40 days of lent

so your last two posts were wonderful but pretty depressing; what’s up with everything in lent being so sad?  will your blog only be sad? are you sad?

i recorded this video  to answer the question about whether the blog is supposed to be sad.  but the wind overpowers my voice throughout the whole recording.  windsongs are beautiful! but i wanted to share what i was saying, it’s transcribed below.  antony hegarty’s performance and talk at chloe dzubilo’s memorial about unraveling circles of care is really at the heart of what i was naming in the post so that’s who you’ll be hearing if you listen to the video, as opposed to watching it on mute and reading the transcription at the same time!

[transcription of me answering!]

This is in response to the question about whether the blog is supposed to be sad.  so i wrote something.  and im just going to read it and i hope that will support the readers’…  


 ahh and i also have a cold (readers’ note: its really just seasonal allergies!)

 anyway so i wrote something

so lent to me is about be present which is…

lent to me is about being present about what is happening in your life right now at the time lent is taking place and for me right now what’s happening is there are really unraveling circles of care that are really deeply affecting peoples lives so what that actually looks like is that people who you know would live a life and would otherwise die at some point are dying at a different point.

so yes the blog is naming sadness because when i sit and am getting present i’m dealing with things that im otherwise in denial about, but its otherwise not supposed to be a sad blog.  and i wanted to share some other things that im in touch with.  and one of them is gratitude.

 and i felt like that was really important to name, so i feel like yes i’m living where there’s unraveling circles of care and you talk about the gulf jet streams are being destroyed and the bees are dying and there are tornadoes in brooklyn the weather patterns are changing there’s a health care crisis but there’s also an amazing resilience that’s happening in this moment 

 and people are really meeting, people in my community are practicing demanding resilience and meeting the moment in ways that of course could be better but are opening up to what is going on and are responding.  and i think that is incredible.  and im incredibly grateful for it.

 and also another thing when im present i get in touch with the power of gentleness, and get gentle with myself and my life and that can’t be understated how important it is to take it easy.   so im constantly joking with my friends and saying be easy, have an easy rest of your day. take it easy.  there’s an emphasis right now where we’re all dealing with such violence and such unraveling of the world and wanting to support each other in moving through it to be gentle with  so that’s one thing i wanted to share

 so its not just about being present with sadness and present with gratitude but its also about being present with a real gentleness.  and i think what that means to me is that any time that i’m present -and lent calls for such a present-ness- whether or not im christian, and i’ll answer that in a post soon (i’m not. just to say, right here: i don’t identify as a christian) lent calls for an incredible amount of present-ness and out of which i’ve experienced growth.  and its not something that’s particular to lent but it is something that is happening powerfully during lent.  growth in terms of engaging questions around what role does spirituality have in social justice movements, spirituality being a place of colonization but also intense liberation.  also engaging around questions of moments of shame, moments of isolation, naming how communities have been exiled, naming how i might imagine reconciliation.  and i’m going to get more into those posts this weekend, specifically around exile.  but its an exciting moment.  

 so i just wanted to name that while its not supposed to be a sad blog its supposed to be a blog about us being present, being present with the grief of the world unraveling around us and things have to do with health care and levels of care being present with gratitude and being present with growth and thank you for participating for reading and asking such incredible questions.